New Season, Same Unchanging God

It's now been nearly 2 1/2 months since i left china and lately i've been thinking of it often.  My old teammates have  been back there for over a month and are already in their second week of teaching.  I would be lying if i said i didn't miss it.  There were a lot of things that i struggled with over there like the language, traffic, parts of the culture, bad china days, even teaching, but as i look back there is a whole lot more that i miss.  My amazing teammates and the times we spent together, my office mates and the conversations that came up, but i especially miss my students.  I miss walking into class everyday and hearing the classes' typical "in unison" greeting.  I miss their english and mispronunciation of words with "th" and "v."  I miss the many conversations we had at the dining hall or the times we went off campus to eat.  I miss hearing them say "Jesus" or "the God" when talking to me about spiritual matters or answering questions about some notable holidays.  I miss their smiles and laughs.  I will not forget the tearful goodbyes of my dear students as i shared my heart on the last day of class and bid them farewell.  Though only a few years younger than i, these "kids" have captured my heart and i earnestly desire to see them again, both in this life and the next.

I recently received an email from a former teammate, tannah, who just had dinner with one of my girls.  This student was and is very dear to me and was equally, if not more, attached to tannah.  Without going into too much detail this student who last year struggled with homosexual tendencies now has a boyfriend.  As she was introducing her boyfriend to my teammate she told him "tannah can tell you something about Jesus!"  As strange as that was, her boyfriend then expectantly waited for Tannah to tell him about this Guy.  They then were hoping to get their hands on some of His material so they could go through it together!  Haha my Jesus is so awesome!  He is at work over there and the seeds that were sown are taking root and growing.  "so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it" isaiah 55:11.

He is using His workers to pick up where the teachers of last year left off, just like we picked up from where the teachers before us left off.  I am excited to see what happens this year.  I have been keeping in contact with a few of my students and recently sent out an email to my classes and friends back at hua qiao to keep them updated on what is going on in my life and to continue to foster some of those relationships.  It's been so good keeping in touch with some of them and i can't wait to see how He is going to woo them into relationship with Him.  I am and will continue to contend for the outpouring of His Spirit on that campus, for revival to break out in that city and across the nation as hearts are set ablaze for the only One that can truly satisfy.  I would love to go back and be part of this and though i plan on returning at some point i know He has something different for me here.

I sent out my final china newsletter a few weeks ago and was hoping everyone would get them before i wrote this, but unfortunately not everyone has received them yet.  This newsletter explains part of what i want to share with you.

While many of my teammates were deciding to return to china, i felt that God was leading me somewhere else and into a new season.  As i began desiring to go somewhere that i could be equipped, discipled, poured into, and sent out i looked at several different opportunities such as seminary, schools of ministry, other missions organizations, and even people who could disciple me.  As i prayed and searched i felt that God was opening up a door for me to attend the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry.  I know.  The word "supernatural" somehow has a negative connotation and has me thinking of new age, paranormal, witch craft, voodoo stuff that no Christian should involve himself in.  In fact, part of this huge growing experience this past year had to do with my open opposition to this church and their position on this "stuff."  There are a lot of diverse opinions on this topic and church that i won't delve into, but i want to be very honest with where He has taken me and where He is taking me.  It is a school that believes that when Jesus said the Kingdom is at hand, He meant that it is now.  Christ didn't come to this earth to just give us hope of spending eternity in paradise with Him.  He came to demolish the enemy's strongholds, to restore the dominion that was given to and lost by man in the garden of eden, and bring His Kingdom here on earth, now.  When Jesus said to "heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, and cast out demons," (matthew 10:8) He wasn't just talking to the elite disciples, but rather giving a mandate to His bride to walk by His Spirit and use what He paid for.  "I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades," revelation 1:18.  Sin, death, disease have been beaten, but their presence is obvious on this earth.  So where does this twisted irony leave us?  We are His hands and feet, the workers of His vineyard, and sons and daughters that are called to do what He did just as He did what He saw His Father doing (john 5:19).  Just as He could do "nothing by Himself" so we can do nothing without Him.  But since we have been given the greatest of gifts, that the Spirit of the living God would dwell inside of us, we are called to reach the poor, the rich, the brokenhearted, the sick, the healthy, and the lost through love, and not just as Jesus did, but greater works than He did (john 14:12).  And it is for this reason that i want to be equipped, discipled, and poured into so i can walk in intimacy with my Lover, walk by His Spirit, and equip, disciple, and pour into others.  As c.s. lewis writes "You do not have a soul.  You are a soul.  You have a body."  We are supernatural beings who are in a natural world.  Yet the supernatural is the superior reality that is all around us.  The problem is we here in western countries struggle to see this because science has no grid for it.  I want to be naturally supernatural.  I want to have the faith of a child and expect my God to be who He says He is.  I don't know why my foot hasn't been healed yet or why some people aren't healed when we pray for them, but i know many are healed who never would have been had someone decided that God doesn't work that way anymore.  I don't want to base my faith off of my experiences, but what the Word of God tells me.    I believe He is good.  I believe He is faithful.  I believe there is fullness of joy in His presence and treasures at His right hand forever (psalm 16:11).  I believe that He loves me more than i could ever know and wants to have a relationship with me.  I believe He is far greater than what i understand and that He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (ephesians 3:20).  Plain and simple, i love God because He loved me first and because of that i want Him to be my reality.  "We walk by faith, not by sight," 2 corinthians 5:7.

Everything i just shared was what i struggled with and worked through for months while i was over there.  I fought, resisted it, asked Him about it, fasted over it, and had my world, my reality shaken.  I know that this may be offensive to some, but i cannot and will not silence what He has put on my heart for fear what my brothers and sisters may think.  I've done that for too long and am breaking free from the fear of man.  I simply want to share with you (in an in-depth way) where i have come from, what He has taught me, and why i want to go to this school.

So, He put it on my heart to go to this school.  A month after my return to the states i attended a conference for a week up at bethel.  It was a shock at first and i struggled with how uncomfortable it was, but after a couple days it was amazing.  I felt completely free and assured that this was where i was supposed to be.  I had my personal interview when i was up there and that cemented it all the more.  However, there were a lot of things that were in the way like lack of finances, a car, a place to stay, a job, etc...  To top it off, i found out 2 weeks after the conference that i was put on a waiting list behind 50 people and told that it was "highly unlikely" that i would get in.  I believed it was where He wanted me despite all of this so i continued to trust that it was all going to work out.  As time wore on my faith weakened and doubt began to appear.  Was he trying to give me a hint or was He trying to set the stage for an awesome miracle?  As all of this was happening, opportunities to get settled back into fresno were all around.  Possible jobs i had been wanting for a long time, positions to serve in churches, and other things made me realize i could have it pretty nice here.  And as i began to think how foolish it was for me to be hoping for this school thing to come through, i knew it would be a hundred times more foolish to give up what people had said over me, dreams i had, dreams that others had, and the general affirmation from Him that this is what i was supposed to do.

Then this last monday i received an email saying that i had been accepted to the school.  I was much more than excited.  I knew there were a lot more needs that had to be met, but this was a huge first step and evidence of His provision and faithfulness.  I now have a car, roommates and a place to live, and a possible job.  The thing that i now lack is money.  I am confident that He is going to provide and do immeasurably more, but i want to provide another opportunity to my supporters.

So many of you have been amazingly generous in supporting me prayerfully and financially while i was over in china.  If you only knew how much you contributed and sowed into the kids, teachers, and people over there as well as in my life.  I am so grateful for your help and i thank you.  I ask that He would be faithful with you and remember your deeds and His promises like in malachi 3:10 and psalm 20.  I am now entering into a new season, in a new place, with new needs and i would like to ask if you would continue pouring into this ministry that He has given me.  If you do not feel led, thank you for your faithfulness.  I look forward to seeing the impact we made in heaven.  For those who feel called to continue in this partnership, thank you.

Tuition for school is $3,950 for 1 year.  In a little over a week i need to submit my first payment of $2,000 on september 13th, the first day of school.  A month after, $975, and the final month after that, another $975.  I do plan on having a job, but i would like to focus on school as much as possible.  If it's on your heart to support monthly, I would greatly appreciate that as well.

• To send non tax-deductible donations towards my tuition, please follow the link on this blog or on my main blog page. 
• https://www.ibssm.org/a/donate/secure-form?student_id=214730&target=tuition
  
• If you would like to help support me monthly, please email me at jobrenner88@gmail.com 

If you have any questions, comments, ideas, concerns, or jokes, please email me at the above address.  Going to this school does not mean i will be a pastor.  In fact, i have no idea what will happen after, or even how long i'll be there for.  I'm open to being a pastor, going back overseas, being involved in the ministry, or flippin burgers for a living (i hope that's not what it is though).  I just know we're called to be love, and i want to supernaturally love on as many people as he puts in my path.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your investment in my life and His Kingdom.  I'm excited for where this new part of my journey will take me, and though i don't know where it will take me yet, i know it's with Him, and He's good :). 

in His service,

jo

Paradigm Shift

It's been two weeks since i returned home to lovely fresno, ca.  As i evaluate my transition back into western culture i'm slightly frustrated with how easy it has been for me to adapt to my old way of life.  Of course the first couple days were a little different.  The smell of my house, the amount of food in my fridge, the order in traffic, understanding people and being understood, nicely organized and logical supermarket layouts, facebook and youtube unblocked, working out at the gym, and quite a few other much missed things that i did not have several thousand miles away.  But after a few days it all was expected again.  Tv was alluring.  Exercise and fitness filled my thoughts.  Bed time got pushed to the morning hours and God began to get pushed out.

It was so obvious to me at first.  The distractions all around, like sirens, beckoning me to come and taste of their pleasure.  Tv shows with blatant sexual themes enticing and tantalizing men for the sake of ratings.  Advertisements convincing me that i want what they have.  Society telling me to live the american dream, get comfortable, have fun, and live it up.  And what kills me is that this bombardment became so overwhelming that i began to slowly slip back into the disillusionment that He brought me out of.  A distraction is something that prevents you from giving your full attention to something else.  One thing i've been convicted about lately is that if i believe even just a tiny portion of what the Bible tells me who this Jesus is, my life should be without a doubt completely different.  This Man should have my full attention and not just out of discipline but out of desire.  What better way to combat an unstoppable force than to lure it from it's Lifeline and bait it with shiny trinkets and time-wasting pursuits.  And there you have a body caught in the snare of disillusionment, complacency, hypocrisy and division amongst it's very own members.  It's not that this body could not escape or even crush it's captor, but out of contentment with far lesser and temporary pleasures she chooses to stay there all the while her Lifeline is reaching out His hand.

We wonder why we don't see more of God, why He doesn't seem to answer or seems so far removed, but i firmly believe we just don't make room for Him.  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength."  It's a radical and extreme commandment, but why shouldn't our lives be radical?  I'm telling you that i have tasted and seen that the Lord is good and we are selling ourselves short for something so cheap.  "You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever," Psalm 16:11.  Can we take scripture for what it says and believe that He is the true source of pleasure?  After all, He is the Creator of pleasure and the One who placed that desire in us.

I'm sure this is offensive to some and foolishness to others, especially since some may deem this an 'incorrect interpretation' of His Word.  But honestly, i can't hold it in.  People ask me how my time was over there and how it must have been so different, so eye opening.  There were amazing things that happened during my stay there and i cannot wait to share some of those stories, but some of the biggest things that took place were within me, and with Him developing a heart in me for the church in America it would be foolishness to not share the full, unadulterated truth.  "...Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?" 1 corinthians 1:20.  So, he who has ears let him hear, it's time to lay aside the rags of the church of laodicea and put on Jesus Christ.

If you have been following my blog i hope you know where i stand and from what position i write this.  I'm a broken person who has fallen short of the glory of God, but i've been made new, forgiven, and adopted as a son of the living God.  I fail often, judge others including my brothers and sisters, become conceited and self-righteous, and remain where i am because of fear.  Man, the hypocrite and the skeptic that i've been addressing is me.  I have royally screwed up again and again.  But, i've been purchased by the blood of Christ and set free from the things that have chained me.  No longer am i a slave to sin.  No longer am i going to believe the lies the enemy constantly whispers in these ears.  No longer will i remain frozen by the fear of man or the unknown.  I have the Spirit of God who rose Christ from the dead living inside of me!  Death, where is your sting?  Grave, where is your victory?!  I'm not perfect, but i believe He is going to finish the good work He started in me, and in Him and His promises do i find my hope.

So you see, i can't not write something that He puts on my heart.  It can be difficult for something to stick out when it's been a part of your life all along.  When it's normal to you and everyone else around you.  I'm telling you coming from an outside perspective that it shouldn't be.  He's got SO much more for us and it would be selfish, even disobedient, to not share that.  So if this is offensive or something new, talk to Him about it.  Too many times we try to figure it out in our head or talk to other people about our problems before even going to the One who has the answer to them.  If this is the relationship like we say it is, walk it out.  If He's willing to go to the cross for us, i'm pretty sure talking to Him wouldn't be too extreme.  The same God that spoke to Abraham, Jacob, Noah, Moses, Elijah, Samuel, David, Daniel, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Hosea, and a load of others is the same, because He never changes.  "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever" hebrews 13:8.  I've been finding that it's so much fun to follow Jesus, and each day is a new adventure.

Welp, this really had very little to do with china, so..... another blog is coming soon.

your brother on this crazy adventure,

jo

T Minus 2 Weeks...

It'll be 'go time' in 2 weeks and i'm not exactly sure how i feel about it.  As the day looms closer and closer, my desire to stay grows stronger and stronger.  I am excited to return my family and friends, to a 'normal' society, a comfortable life, a culture that i at least was used to, but i feel like i'm at a place now where i just want to tarry, to just forget the deadline and relish in what He has blessed me with here.  Sure it'll be nice to have meat as a main course, take regular trips to the gym, eat home cooked meals, shop in familiar and spacious supermarkets, and take personal transportation that doesn't involve standing for an hour or being packed into a train to the point of being unable to raise your arms.  It'll be convenient to understand what people are saying to you, to read signs again, to not be stared at everywhere you go, to be expected to perform and judge at every event you attend and to be mistaken as an english dictionary willing to share your vast knowledge of the language and culture at every inopportune time.  I'm looking forward to being comfortable again, but i gave up my comfort when i decided to follow Him and drink from the cup He put before me.  What He has shown me here, who He has brought me into relationship with, and the places where He has taken me are unforgettable.  It moves me thinking i may never see my students again, my coworkers, even my teammates.  I came to china one person and am leaving another.  Though it was hard, terrifying, and despairing, the fruit of it far overshadows the pain it caused.  I know that soon it will be time to leave and my time here done, at least for now, but i wish i had just a little longer to say goodbye.  I know that when i look back i will see changed lives, but i will also see a work in progress that must be continued by those who will take my place.  And when i look back i am faced with that horrible question, "could i have given more?" to which i must give the answer i know all too well.  There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, but can i say i ran this leg of the race hard?  Will i hear "well done my good and faithful servant"?  I'll say goodbye to dear friends, brothers and sisters, but i know i leave them in His hands.  For now, i'll savor the times i've spent with them.

I've been spending more time with my buddy going to the gym and going out to eat.  Just last week he sent me a list of things he wanted to do together and told me i had to add at least one thing to it.  I'm gonna miss the guy a lot.  I'm going to miss everybody a lot.  Last weekend i went to a chinese theme park/normal park with some of my students.  I think chinese roller coasters are scarier just because you're not sure what kind of safety checks are performed on them.  It would also be more reassuring if i could fit into them.  We threw the frisbee around to which they took a liking to once they figured out how to throw it.  I've been trying to spend as much time with my students as possible, and with one more week of finals left, i'm seeing how little time i really have.  This week i will finish listening to 180+ students speak in English for about 4 1/2 minutes each.  There are quite a few other things i can think of that would be more lively than that.  It's kinda cute though.  Some of these kids get so worked up and nervous about speaking in front of me that they just don't think straight. Last semester i had a guy start crying.  That was rather on the sad side, but he did earn 1 or 2 pity points.  At the end of class this week and all of next week i'm going to record video of my students saying goodbye so i can show everybody back home how awesome my students are, and how best i am at treaching engrish.  Like last semester, i'll bring in my guitar and play a few songs so all of my students can take their phones out and get video of me.  It really doesn't matter how bad you are, if you are a foreigner and at least try to perform you're gonna feel like a rockstar.  I've been thinking how this has affected my ego since i've been here.  It's going to be hard getting used to not being the center of the universe.  China does wonders for your self-esteem.

There has been a lot that's happened in the past month.  A few of us performed at an english competition that another student was hosting.  We all sang "Your love is strong" by jon foreman and i attempted to play the guitar.  It was pretty fun, even though we were all judges.  About two weeks ago, most of our team went to a play that was put on by our organization's 'chinese language program' in the center of the city.  The children of these families performed 'oliver twist' which was pretty cute to watch.  A month ago i attended my first chinese wedding and watched my beautiful office mate say "i do," or something of similar relevance.  It was quite an experience and one in which i won't easily forget.  This weekend i have another wedding i'm going to in which an american friend is wedding a chinese national.  It should be an awesome shindig in which i hope to boogie down and let the good times roll.  We'll see if china is ready for what i'm about to drop down.

Most importantly, i want to update you on the condition of my cancer-diagnosed teammate.  After returning home, visiting the doctor and running tests, and visiting the doctor again and running more tests, there is apparently no sign of cancer in his body and is cleared as 'cancer-free'!  Praise God!  Even after the biopsy done on the lump on his neck, another bone marrow test, and more blood work, the results show that dave was healed by the Living God.  That was a huge pryr answered and we're so excited to see His kingdom come in love and power like that.  Thank you to all of you who took time to lifting him up.  Now he has more time with his home fellowship like he wanted and can post on his resumè that he had cancer for a month.

He is good and delights in showing His lovingkindness.  I am so thankful for His work in my life and in so many others.  Though i don't understand it all, i trust in His goodness and faithfulness.  I'm still unsure of where i am going to be in a few months but i know He's got in His hands.  As 'go time' looms closer i ask myself more and more why i'm leaving, but when i step back i feel that this is what He wants me to do.  It's been difficult to hear His voice and feel His touch, but He's been bringing me back to the simplicity of following Him.  To love him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.  All else comes second.  It's simple to state, a fierce battle to live out.  But in all of it He is showing me again who He is and reassuring me of His character and His love.  Man, He's all that's worth living for and i don't want to keep getting distracted with the unsatisfying pleasures of this world!  I want more, and you better believe that He can deliver!

I'll try to write one last post before i leave.  Thank you for taking an interest in my life and His work over here in changchun, jilin, people's republic of china.  I look forward to seeing and catching up with most (if not all) of you guys when i get back.  Love and affection from chiners!

-jo

chongqing lu - a major shopping strip in the city center

childcare at the local fellowship

my hero

April/ May Recap

Welp, my experiment to write shorter blogs so i could write more has not produced the results i was hoping for.  I know many of you check this everyday and feel incomplete if there is not a new post up, and i really can't blame you.  So i apologize for not being that fulfillment you desperately needed.  I would love to say another one is coming soon, but based on my track record and the school year coming to a close, i'll probably only push out a few more.  Since it's late and i'm tired, i'll try and make this one as short as i can, but there's no promises.  Here are some of the highlights of my highs and lows during the past month.

I always try to share a little bit of western culture with my classes, which includes talking about holidays.  So, since Easter is not celebrated here in China, I was able to share what it's about, Who it's about, and why His victory is important.  Of course i talked about bunnies and eggs, but it didn't really bring the same satisfaction as talking about our Hero.  I really tried to take advantage of the non-commercialized version of this sacred day and focus on the true meaning.  I can't say it was revelatory, but it was special nonetheless.  On Good Friday, i had students paint Easter eggs for me and give them to me in class.  It was very special and meant a lot to me.  On Easter morning I brought  one of my buddies (who i will talk about later) to fellowship with me.  It was his first time going and we had a pretty good time.  Later that day, i went to meet some of my students in their classroom to pick up some Easter eggs they had made for me, or so i thought.  I walked into the classroom and was stunned.  The entire class had decorated their room, brought a huge cake, tons of snacks, and some good ol' Chinese food.  They had me sit down at the table and kept putting food in front of me.  Then some other students walked in with more food, which ended up being some of my favorite dishes.  We had a great time and it was a huge blessing.  I'll try to put up pictures later.  Later that night our team had a good home cooked feast full of delicious delicacies that this belly had long missed.

The last 4 months, i have been able to work out with my buddy who accompanied me to fellowship.  This is the same one that helped me out when i was injured and took really good care of me.  He was gone for a few months at his new job in southern China.  All seniors have to spend a couple months of their last semester interning and getting work experience.  Since he's been back we've been hitting the gym up and trying to lose some of the fat that this deliciously oily food has insulated us with.  He actually bought me a 2 month membership to a nearby gym saying that "he didn't want to send me back to my family fat."  That's a true friend.  We've had some great conversations and it's obvious He is working on His heart.  This is the same one who said that money was his god.  Now he says money doesn't matter to him.  In fact, he spent some time reading the Book while he was away, however he has strong distaste for some of it.  "I hate james king.  I can't understand him."  I figure that's an easy problem to solve, so we're looking to get a more relevant version for him.  I also was able to hook him up with a lot of the "encouraging" music i've been listening to.  He says that he loves 99% of it, which is awesome because about 90% of it is 'praise' music.  Please keep lifting my buddy up.  He's got a good heart and i'm excited to see what He's got planned for him.

Lately, things have been kind of tough, spiritually speaking.  I haven't felt that same burning passion that i had before or that feeling where i had to share the Good News or else i would pop.  It's been kind of difficult to get used to.  I began seeing myself desire the junk that i used to before i realized that true pleasure is found in my Provider.  All that worldly stuff began to appeal to me again and though i sought Him, i've really had a hard time connecting with Him.  I've come to learn that the way i feel is important to me, and it can affect the way i serve Him.  This is something i'm asking Him to give me grace in and to love, praise, and seek Him even when i don't 'feel' like it.  What's cool is that He has brought me into His presence long enough to show me that where i am should not be my normal.  My new paradigm is being infatuated with Him.  I want to seek Him at all costs and sacrifice everything for Him Who is much greater than i could ever imagine.  And though i want this, i've been finding a lot of trouble getting out of bed early to have my quiet times, or the focus to persevere in pryr, or the lack of drive to just sit and wait in His presence.  I'm not sure what it is, but i think He is answering my request to test my heart.  As tough as it is, i want to be refined and made useful for His purposes so i can bring as much glory as i can to Him Who deserves it all.  I'm just not a big fan of this part.  I want to be transparent with you, not so i can spill out my emotions to get attention, but so you can see me as i am, raw.  God is doing awesome stuff in my life and it includes the times where it's euphoric and the times when it hurts.  I don't have all the answers, but i serve the One who does and i choose to put my faith, trust, and hope in Him and His unfailing faithfulness.  If you can remember, please lift this up for me as i really miss the intimacy i had with Him.

As the year is coming to a close i'm trying to remain focused and set on finishing well.  I want to excel in the classroom as a teacher as well as seek opportunities to love and encourage my students.  I've told all my classes that i'm not coming back next semester and it's been kind of hard.  I'm gonna miss my kids and the relationships that He has blessed me with.  I'm also lifting up my plans for next year.  I don't know what He's got planned, but i'm hoping and contending that He will lead me to a school of ministry in the fall.  I want to know more of this King i serve and the glorious inheritance He has given us as saints.  I ask that you lift this up as well, specifically direction and finances.

Finally, i feel it's important to include this update.  Our team has experienced A LOT this past school year with injuries and people leaving.  It's been a tough road and should be as we are in the midst of a battle.  I share this with you not for gossip's sake, but so that you can lift our brother up and that He would be glorified in this situation.  Our team leader, Dave, has been sick for the past 3 weeks and hasn't been able to teach, eat much, or do much of anything.  After several trips to the doctor and talking to insurance, it was decided upon that he fly down to Bangkok to see a doctor there and run more tests.  Just yesterday the tests came back positive showing that he has T-cell lymphoma.  He is only 3 years older than me, but has devoted the past 4 years of his life to this country and the students here on this campus.  Please please please lift up Dave and contend that God would heal him of this cancer and that He would receive all the glory.  That students, teachers, and everyone else on this campus and around this nation would hear of the mighty works of our Healer.  Please also lift up his family as well as the other team leader here, as they just began dating in early February.

I love you guys and appreciate your pryrs and support.  I only have a few more weeks here, and though i am looking forward to coming home, my departure from here will definitely be bittersweet.  I'll try and write another post sometime in the next couple weeks.  Be blessed :)

in His service,

jo

A Recap of the Past Month

Welp, i am currently in the middle of my 7th week of the semester and basically halfway to my completion date.  They said the spring term goes by much quicker.  Based on my experience as a student for the last 17 years i would have to disagree with that, but for some reason this is going by quicker than i had expected.  Realizing this, i've spent more time with students and have had some amazing conversations.  For those of you who did not receive my most recent newsletter, He is doing awesome things on this campus.  We are seeing the product of the labor that was put in last semester and the past 10 years from other teachers.  I am so thankful to be a part of what's going on here.

Recently, there has been a counter attack from the enemy trying to stop what He is doing here, but we know that He holds the key to death and hades, so in faith we proclaim the victory He has already won.  There is a growing body here that is under assault, but He said that on this rock He would build His house, and the gates of hell would not prevail.  We're not reeling back into defense, nor were we ever meant to, but we are taking the battle to the very gates of hell and our victory is sure.  That's something to get pumped about!  I'm sure many of you have heard what's going on here in the middle kingdom and you probably know much more than i do, but please don't be worried about what's going on.  First of all, our perception in america is much different than what is actually going on here.  I never explained this and will wait to do this when i come back, but know we have a skewed perspective of this country.  Secondly, please let this news bring you to your knees before Him.  That same power that raised His Son from the dead now lives in us.  We have power, authority, and an inheritance as sons and daughters of the Most High.  Let's use what we've been given and ask not just for justice in this situation, but for mercy on the individuals who are imposing these things and that His love would sweep over and radically change the dynamics of everything here.  Perfect love casts out all fear, and that true love is found only in Him.

Less than 2 weeks ago, i went on a road trip to dalian in the liaoning province, just below jilin where i live.  I went with 5 other teachers and 3 students for a 2 day trip to the coastal city.  After an uncomfortable 8 hour train ride, we arrived at the beautiful city of dalian and spent time walking around, mainly because of the policy that foreigners had to stay in at least a 3 star hotel making it quite frustrating.  We then went to "ocean park"which is like a "sea world" type place.  We saw the beautiful clear water, dolphin shows, and a huge aquarium.  From there we went to our hotel that He amazingly provided for us.  After a couple phone calls through the night asking if we wanted a "massageee" we waned off to a much more restful sleep.  The next day we went to "discovery land" which is china's version of disneyland.  It had the same amount of people, but it was probably 3 times smaller.  I didn't put the two together until i got there: a theme park in china.  With a 1.5 billion population, i should have expected 2.5 hour lines.  So rather than waste my time in line, i walked around taking pictures, sitting on the bank of a moat behind the castle talking to Abba, and taking pictures with friendly chinese people.  After an expensive and an unfulfilling meal of spanish tapas, we went by mcdonald's for the 3rd night in a row; always a clutch player.  We got back early the next morning and none to soon.  I was worn out from our little two day journey and happy to be home.

 The day i got back was my birthday and it consisted of a short nap, french toast from our team leaders, a buffet at night with friends, and a wonderful little cake cutting ceremony with a few of my students in the afternoon.  I met them in the dining hall and they brought me a beautiful cake as well as presents ranging from a full ginseng root to an "angry birds" stuffed animal.  It was a small get together, but it was very special.  I love my students and will miss them very much.  He is doing some awesome things in these relationships and i ask that you would petition that He would continue to increase them.

I'd like to share more stories, but i think i'll wait until the next post.  I'm going to experiment and see if i write more blogs by assuring myself that i don't have to write an essay each time.  Thanks again for all your support and reading these ramblings.  I miss my friends and family back home and although i am not taking for granted my time here, i am looking forward to reuniting with everyone and gettin' some real food in this here belly.  Until next post, màn zǒu.

The beautiful seaside of Dalian at Tiger Beach.

Apparently they don't know what a belly bump is in China.  Probably one of the most awkward things that i've done here.  And i did it twice to get it on camera....

My kids :)

jo

State of the Soul Address

The last post was just to you fill you in on what our winter break trip entailed.  For this post, i want to share with you the things that are much more important than seeing different countries.  First of all, i need to make a confession.  I realized that in most of my entries i share the positive things that are going on in my life and around me.  I do not want to deviate from this but testify to the joy, goodness, and faithfulness that He brings.  However, it is wrong for me to focus on these without admitting my struggles, dry seasons, and frustrations that come from being in a relationship and being human.  There have been many difficult times in my walk, but i see now that the joy far outweighs the trials to bring me to that point.  Like a woman who was in labor forgets the pangs of childbirth when that child is in her arms.  I have never been in childbirth nor will i admit to relating to what a woman experiences (i actually got that analogy from this good Book i've been reading), and even though it is varying in degree, it is one of the awesome ways in which He works.  But still, i want to be real with those who have been keeping up with me back home.  I have lain on my face asking for His presence to come and it doesn't.  I have laid hands on the crippled and sick asking for the reality of His power to be made known to these people and nothing happens (that i can see or at that moment).  I have devoted spending time to seeking His face and lifting up individuals and i see a regression.  There have also been times where i stray away from Him and place other things as more important.  This was true for most of my trip.  I made decisions that put other things as more important than Him, especially when my world clashed with western culture again.  I have elevated myself to the point of self-righteousness, where pride is arrogantly glaring through the haughty eyes that i would view my world through.  There are times where my faith is tainted with doubt and even when i question my security in Him.  And this is painful to admit, but i have to say it so that you can see i am a flawed man in desperate need of a Savior.  And that's what i love about Him.  He is faithful when we are faithless, so much so that His name is 'Faithful' (revelation 19:11).  He takes the broken and uses them.  He clothes them in white and puts a ring on their finger.  He calls them His children and invites them to sit at His table, to share in His joy.  He loves us so much that He puts the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead inside of us to live and abide in us.  His love is strong, His grace sufficient, and His power available to all who believe.  It's hard to focus on your inadequacies when the One Who created the heavens and the earth and spoke life into creation says, "I still love you."  It's a wonderful mystery i won't ever understand, but it's reality and i'm gonna live in it.

Even though i don't see exactly everything i hoped for (yet), i've been learning an imortant lesson.  He has been showing me to base my faith on His promises rather than on my experiences.  So i share this to dissolve any thought that i have it together and that everything's perfect over here.  The truth is i'm a mess but am still privileged to take part in His kingdom.  I'm going to keep pursuing Him and falling more in love with the One who loves me more than i can know.  And that brings me to the next thing that i wanted to address.  I'm not sure what He has planned for my future, but i feel like there is some direction and i am leaning toward a decision.  A desire in me has been building up to be equipped, poured into, and sent out again.  I can't remember if i shared this earlier, but my intention in going to beijing to hear francis chan speak was to ask about possible discipling opportunities.  Though i don't think that is what He has for me, i do believe that devoting this next season of my life to seeking His face, reading the Word, functioning in the gifts of the Spirit, and being in an environment that would challenge me to go deeper is what He is leading me to.  I would love to go to a school of ministry that could equip me in this capacity and/or be poured into by a man of God that would train and disciple me so that i can do the same to others.  I'm looking at a couple schools now, but it's a ways away and i want to be a wise steward of what He has entrusted me at this time.  Although there is still a chance, it does not look like i will be returning to China this next year.  This is difficult knowing there is a need for workers to continue the awesome work that He is doing, but i feel this is what He is leading me to.  As my supporters, friends, and family, i want to fill you in on what He is doing and also ask that you would continue to lift this decision up to Him; that He would speak and lead with clarity and provide everything needed for this to come to fruition in His timing.

I also just wanted to thank you for you lifting up my foot on this trip.  It was so much better than i could have expected and i was allowed to walk around with 16 kg on my back.  A true answer.  It has been hurting quite a bit lately though, so i ask that you would continue to remember that.

I am so appreciative of your love and support back home and i hope to share much more in detail when i see you face to face.  My return flight is now booked and i will return to fresno airport the evening of june 21.  Thank you for your pryrs and for those who have kept in contact.  I love you and ask that He would pour out his Spirit on you and give you a greater revelation of the wisdom and knowledge found only in Jesus Christ.


Requests:
1) that He would stir in the hearts of those who are to replace us this year and continue His work in our students' lives
2) that He would clearly direct and provide everything i need for this next exciting season of my life
3) that He would continue to heal my foot and allow me to walk, run, and play sports again

thank you!

sunrise from kunming airport

Long Beach, Koh Phi Phi Don

A Short (But Rather Extensive) Summary of a Most Excellent Adventure

It’s been nearly 2 weeks since we returned from our 34 day trip.  We had an amazing time traveling through Xi’an, Chengdu and Kunming in China as well as Bangkok, Koh Phi Phi and Chiang Mai in Thailand.  We were amazed with His provision throughout the whole trip as well as the many, many people He put in our path.  It was a memorable experience going from hostel to hostel and watching His hand guide us through the whole thing.  Although there were great times, there were also some rather difficult ones.  On one particular instance we arrived to the airport in Xi’an well before our 7 am flight took off, but found out that we were early by around 26 hours putting our actual flight at 7 am the next day.  But He provided by getting us a ticket 14 hours later, a good time to rest and relax in the airport, and free meals that He provided in some pretty awesome ways.  Throughout the trip Abram and I would comment to each other how we felt like we were experienced travelers judging by the way everything had gone, but we quickly realized we had no idea what going on and He was just putting us where we needed to be at the right time.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  We were faced with other difficult decisions, one which we consistently met.  The choice between rice or noodles was a rather serious one, but we concluded that just getting both was a fairly balanced compromise.

In our travels we had tons of ‘delisherse’ food and many new friendships made.  We both agree that of all the places we visited, Chengdu was our favorite.  30 minutes after getting dropped off in the city with no clue where we were or where our hostel was we met 2 people who not only helped us find it, but walked us nearly a mile to it.  We later met up with one of them on several occasions.  The food was good and cheap, the people were laid back and friendly, and the hostel we stayed at was amazing.  From there we went to Kunming and then onto Bangkok.  We took an overnight bus down to southern Thailand not knowing where He wanted us to go, but praying that He would provide and show us.  After being dropped off at a tourist agency we decided to catch the ferry to Koh Phi Phi; a beautiful island where The Beach and Man with the Golden Gun was filmed.  Turns out it was a party island, there was no room available on the main part, and it was fairly expensive.  So we put on our backpacks, buckled our chest straps and walked along a road going up a hill to the center of the island hoping to reach the mysterious eastern shore and looking for cheap lodging along the beach.  It took longer than expected, we didn’t know where this road led, it was hot and humid, and it took a toll on my foot, but it was a beautiful walk and He provided for us with some cheap bungalows within 100 meters of the beach.  White sand and blue water made for a picturesque sunset as we finished up our day.  We had the opportunity to swim with sharks 100 meters out and go snorkeling everyday, but it weighed pretty heavy on us after a while seeing so many westerners and the immodest clothing of it all.  We were excited to leave and begin making our way up to Chiang Mai where our conference was to be held. 

After some fun adventures along the way, we arrived in Chiang Mai and met up with our much missed team as well as friends we hadn’t seen since training in Beijing.  We indulged ourselves in long awaited Burger King, McDonald’s, Mexican food and the hotel’s buffet as well as amazing Thai food.  Like I said before, the food was one of my favorite parts.  Before conference started we met up with some buddies from Qinhaungdao and rented some bikes for the afternoon.  We just started pedaling out of the city and found ourselves on a highway going to ‘who knows where.’  After a naïve attempt to cut through a neighborhood back into the city we stumbled across World Vision Chiang Mai.  So we went inside, talked with the sweet girls there and got directions back.  Turns out an hour and a half of mindless pedaling got us pretty lost.  One of the girls ended up driving slowly along the freeway while we followed close behind in our bikes.  It was a tad unnerving, but we were by now jaded to crazy traffic, all thanks due to China’s crazy drivers.  (I meant to give some background information on things about the culture like traffic in the past, but I never got around to it.  I apologize, for most of these stories can be better understood when you understand the background information.  Nonetheless, traffic in China is like Frogger, Burnout, and Crazy Taxi to those who play video games.  Unfortunately, these are not as exaggerated as you may think).  Anyways, 30 minutes of chasing this car down the freeway put us right in front of the hotel, shirts saturated with sweat and egos inflated with an awesome story (we just left out the lost part).

Conference was more than I could have hoped for.  Walking into that room the first night I was beside myself realizing that the 600 people in the room were here to worship Jesus, and we were gonna shout it at the top of our lungs.  It was SO refreshing.  I didn’t realize how much I missed the body until that night.  The rest of the week was amazing, besides over half of everybody there getting a 36 hour flu bug.  Michael Card was our guest speaker and spoke on lament.  I really can’t convey the joy, renewal, refreshment, rejuvenation, etc… that this whole conference brought to me.  It spurred me to seek after my Savior all the more.  We also heard country reports of what He is doing in these countries we serve in and the favor He is giving our organization.  Hearing these things brought such a love for Him and for this new family I became a part of that it overwhelmed me.  If anyone has a heart for the nations and would even consider teaching, I would give my highest recommendation to take part in this work.  Besides what I learned there, I met many people who are also serving and doing the work of the Father.  I continued to fall more in love with these people and realizing how blessed I am to be doing what I’m doing.

As you know, Thailand is a place reeking of sexual perversion and promiscuity.  Unfortunately, our hotel was located near a red light district, which meant being called to from the bars as we walked down the street was a normal nocturnal experience.  My heart aches for these girls and as bad as I would like to help, it is not a field I feel called into reaching.  If anyone has a heart for that there is a great, great need in Thailand.   3 of us actually went in to talk to someone, but we soon left, mainly because it was just too overwhelming.  As we were walking out we met 2 YWAMers who had a ministry reaching out to the women in these red light districts.  It was great getting to talk to them and seeing that someone cared and was putting their love into action.

Before we knew it, conference was over and we had to bid adieu to everyone.  We made our way back to Bangkok and ended up being able to visit the Foursquare Southeast Asia World Base and attended a Friday night service there.  It was great seeing people in love with Him and speaking another language.  Someone even offered to translate the message for us.  We got into our apartments at one in the morning on Sunday.  It was a surreal feeling.  I forgot about how white everything in my apartment is and how pink my walls are, not to mention deafeningly quiet.  It was a great trip, but I missed home too much and was thankful to be back and relax before school started the next Monday.

Chengdu cougars that forced us to dance with them.  Spineless...

Sunset on Long Beach, Koh Phi Phi Don