Sour Milk

After 3+ weeks I'm finally back and trying to think of everything that has happened during that time and even where to begin.  I am sorry for not doing my part on keeping regular updates.  There has been a lot going on, but it really doesn't excuse the fact that i haven't updated those who made great sacrifices to send me here.  The following is a very condensed version of what has happened since waking up in that hospital bed to over 3 weeks post op.

After waking up that Thursday afternoon in Canossa Hospital in Hong Kong, I felt kind of different.  Obviously the effect of the anesthetic was part of that, but i had a sense of carelessness with everything going on.  The doctor said it was a complete rupture or avulsion and that it would take about 8 months until i could start playing sports again.  Since he wanted to see me a week after the surgery i found a place to stay with another foreign teacher who was working in Hong Kong.  The room was in a shared building in a village in a much more rural part of Hong Kong known as the New Territories.  As i walked into that place i could feel the humidity and heat begin to have its effect on my already warm body.  And it was there that i would spend the next 5 nights not once leaving the building, save for taking the garbage out on the last night.   My computer had no access to internet and my room contained an A/C and a bed.  It was there that everything hit me.  I was alone in a foreign place, with a an injury i had not yet adjusted to,  unfamiliar with the kind stranger who was allowing me to live there, and having to depend on everybody else.  My pride was at an all time low and i had no idea how i was going to make it through one day much less a week.  The only one i had to turn to was Him, and though i tried to be good and read the Word and other stuff, i was really quite apathetic to everything going on.

I don't share these things so that you would pity me or feel bad, but that you can see the raw me.  My purpose before all of this was to shift the focus to Him and that this would be a totally different way to handle a new injury.  However, i think some of that was really my pride.  A self-righteousness that i prided myself in.  I will talk more about this later on.   Thankfully i was not alone in Hong Kong.  I had a great team leader who travelled with me until after my surgery and then the wonderful women of the organization's Hong Kong office who helped me greatly and gave so much of themselves.  Also, the gentleman i stayed with was very generous and i enjoyed the time that i was able to spend with him.

As if it couldn't come soon enough the time did pass and it wasn't as bad as i initially thought it was.  I saw the doctor, boarded the plane and took off for my much missed home in Changchun.  I was picked up at the airport by some much missed faces and i was finally in my own rock hard bed that i missed all too much.

The next night i spent time physically on my knees, which was a first since i had been injured.  As if my eyes had been opened, i suddenly realized that i had missed something.  Somehow in everything i lost sight of my Rock and my Redeemer.  I had been so caught up in myself that i had neglected the One who was there for me the whole time.  There was a humbling experience when i came back where i couldn't even share with a student about a simple passage he had been reading.  After that i felt completely and utterly stripped of everything i had labeled myself as.  Not just the pride in taking care of myself, but even the pride i had in my own walk.  I felt as if he stripped me bare before Him and i was forced to lean on Him for support and guidance.  One of my buddies that i greatly respect here said, "i used to feed people food, but i am now being fed milk." I couldn't agree more.  I felt as if that was exactly where i was.  I came to feed and to give of myself, but now i am the one requiring help.  To be honest, i don't think i have ever gone through anything more painful and challenging in my life.  It is not the physical pain, but the pain of my pride being reduced to next to nothing.  It hurts and there really is no other way around it.  He has been teaching me so much through it all and though i stumble and fall often, He is there to pick me up.  I love the verse in 2 Timothy 2:13 where Paul says "It is a trustworthy statement: for if we died with Him, we will also live with Him; if we deny Him, He also will deny us; if we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself."  I am so thankful for Jesus and for His great love for me.  I know i have so much more to lose, and He may decide to take it, but whatever the case, may the name of the Lord be praised!

I wish i could just stop there, but there are a lot of other things that have been happening.  Six days after coming back i began teaching my classes again and seeing the students that i missed so much.  While i was away my beloved friends and teammates covered my classes for me and gave of themselves so selflessly.  I am so thankful for their help and patience in all of this.  Most of those classes i had seen only once because of holidays and my untimely injury.  But i covered 6 of my 8 classes that week and then finished my first full week this past week.  I also decided to make the move up to the 6th floor.  There are no leaks (yet), it is much much warmer, and i have a beautiful view of the campus.  I also figured it would help condition my arms and right leg so i could make up for what was lacking in my left.  I have had the opportunity to eat with many of my students both in the dining hall and off campus.  I am so thankful to finally begin creating those relationships and do what i planned on coming here to do (He seemed to have other plans).  The need is great here, but i am so humbled, blessed, and thankful i can be a part of it.  Please continue to lift up Hua Qiao and our teams.  He is moving and going before us.  He has a heart for His people here in China and i want to do everything i can to make sure they know it!

Thank you for those who have kept in contact with me and encouraged me through all of this.  Thank you to those who have remembered me in their quiet times and petitioned that He would move mightily.  Thank you to those who have been faithful in giving of themselves financially and providing me a way to get here.  I ask that He would shower you with blessings for your faithfulness and support.  I am thankful to be part of the Body and i hope that you can share in this joy as well.